Yeah, I realize I’m a little late with this, but I’m one of those people that finds nothing wrong with wishing a “Happy New Year” to someone on January 29th. Hey, what do you want from me? I still have my Christmas tree up! Plus, since we already have several days under our 2011 belts, the pressure of perfection is already off! Anyway, the other day on the radio, our Ladies Room Topic was, “What New Year’s resolution would you make for other women?” I actually thought a lot about it throughout the day and came up with my 5 Top New Year’s Resolutions for Women. By the way, I’m working on all of them too!

1. Stop beating yourself up – I am SO guilty of this, and my hope is that we, as women, will learn to appreciate ourselves for who we are and shut off the voices in our heads. You know that voice well. The really loud one that blocks out any compliments you get and says, “you’re so stupid,” “why can’t you be like so-and-so,” “you’re never going to be good enough.” Sound familiar? The next time you hear that voice, tell that bitch to shut the hell up!

I’m on vacation.  I’m snowed in.  That can only mean only mean one thing right?  Teen Mom marathon! I have to admit I judged the show prematurely. I thought, ‘Who wants to see a show about a bunch of kids making stupid choices?” Well, turns out, I do.

If you haven’t seen the MTV show, it follows four teenage girls who were originally featured on the show 16 and Pregnant. Teen Mom shows how their lives have changed after giving birth, the relationships (or lack thereof) with their baby’s fathers, and how their parents are coping with the situation.

It’s so easy to sit back and judge these girls for their decisions and actions. Yes, Amber came off as a seriously crazy girl with major anger issues in need of medication. No, Maci shouldn’t have run off to Nashville after her new boyfriend she hoped to marry. Farrah obviously needs to continue with therapy and stop talking to her mother the way she does. And Catelynn, well, I love her so I don’t have anything bad to say about her. The point I want to make is, even though all these girls have issues that we saw them live through publicly, there is something special about this show and I’m thankful I watched it.

I give these girls credit. It takes guts to put yourself out there like that. While it isn’t as shocking today when a teenage girl gets pregnant, people still have a tendency to judge them and call them a slut even if they’ve only been with that one boy who they were in a relationship with. It also can’t be easy to make the decision to put your baby up for adoption, as Catelynn did, knowing that there will be people out there looking at you with disdain because, “How can you just give your baby away?” I’m giving credit where credit is due.

There was no shortness of drama on the show, which I’m sure was the attraction for most people, but there was also a lot to learn from the show. Farrah showed us that having a baby does not make you a grown up. She made some steps in the right direction by working and getting her own apartment, but her childish behavior with her mother showed she still had a lot to learn about life. Don’t get me wrong, her mother was not perfect, but I feel like she was trying to help. Maci made some impulsive decisions like moving to be closer to her boyfriend, but I felt that she showed maturity in putting her son first when meeting with the mediator and giving her son’s father an extra day of visitation. Catelynn showed us how unselfish the process of adoption really is. To look beyond your own personal wants and desires, and make the impossible decision to let someone else raise your child, was an amazing thing to watch. It was even more impressive, given her mother wasn’t on-board with the decision and reminded her on every possible occasion. And Amber. Yes, even Amber showed us something. It may not be what she wanted us to see about her, but she reaffirmed that just because you have a baby with someone, doesn’t mean you should be together.

I’m so glad I decided to give the show a chance, and I look forward to Teen Mom 2 which premieres on January 11th at 10pm. Here’s the trailer for the show…

So what do you think about Teen Mom? Have you watched it? Who was your favorite? What did you learn from watching the show? And do you think that shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom will keep teens from getting pregnant? I would love to hear what you think. Leave a comment please!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

Why is it so hard for us to say thank you to the people who help us?  Not just the quick “thanks” for the people who hold the door open for you, but the “going out of your way thank you” for the people who go above and beyond to help us.

I just got off the phone with a very nice woman who helped me book a flight.  Can you believe it?  I booked with an actual person and not online!  Rare, I know.  Anyway, the process was a little complicated because I was trying to book a flight to go with a previously purchased ticket, and I wanted the seats to be together…yadda yadda yadda.  Well, the woman who I spoke to was incredible!  She was kind, she was patient, and very helpful.

At the end of the conversation, something inside of me told me to ask for her supervisor’s email address because I wanted them to know that I was extremely pleased with the service I received.  She seemed surprised and thanked me profusely.  It made me ashamed that I don’t do this more.  None of us do.  If we have a problem with someone, we are VERY vocal.  But we all seem to just let it slide by if we get great service.  And these days, great service seems to be the exception and not the rule!  If you’re a procrastinator like me, send that email right away or you’ll forget.  I did it the second I got off the phone!

Today, I just wanted to pass it on that if you get great service, be sure to let the person know, and more importantly, let their supervisor know.  It only takes a moment, and it could make a world of difference to someone!

When was the last time YOU gave that extra-special thank you?  I would love to hear about it!  OR, the last time you received one!  Leave a comment, and THANK YOU (insert Thank You Dance) for reading!

Just my humble opinion…

Pebbles

I am one of the lucky ones.  I have an amazing father who has been supportive my whole life, and more importantly, has been there for me.  As a child and even now, I feel that my father would do anything to make sure I’m happy.  But I have found over the years, there are many, many people who aren’t as lucky.

I bring this up because I have a friend who doesn’t have a relationship with her father.  He recently actually had the audacity to use her name to drum up business for himself with a potential client!  Seriously! And I know another person who recently got a call from his father out of the blue because he was feeling sorry for himself, and wanted someone to listen to him.  Boo-freaking-hoo!  I was SO upset.  I think I was more pissed than either one of them were.  Was it because they’re used to this treatment?  Is it just their way of protecting themselves by chalking it up to “dad being dad?”  It may not be my business to address their fathers, or any other deadbeat dads for that matter, but for some reason I feel like I need to say something.  For them, and for all the other boys & girls and men & women, who have been forced to grow up with a man who has purposely chosen not to be a part of their lives.   So for all of you needing a voice, use mine!

Dear Dad…

Although I haven’t heard from you in a while, actually ages, I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay.  From your years of silence, I’m guessing that doesn’t really matter to you, but I thought it was time for me to reach out to you.

You see, I’m okay.  I’m living a decent life.  I’m a good person.  I have other family members who love me, and I have great friends.  I’m doing well for myself, and I’m proud to say that I am happy about the way I’ve turned out…in spite of your absence.  Again, I’m ok…most of the time.

But then there are the other times when I can’t help but wonder where you are.  I can’t help but try to make sense of a man who wouldn’t even want to be a part of their child’s life.  And there are days when I just want to stay in bed and cry because it hurts so much knowing that you are out there…close by…and still don’t want to see me.

There are a lot of emotions inside of me that I keep bottled up because I’m afraid of what would happen if I took the lid off and let them out.  Would it cause me to explode?  Would it just hurt me even more?  Would you even care?

Life is short, and I’m sure that at some point in yours you will look back and realize that you are the one who missed out.  YOU didn’t get a chance to see what an incredible person I am.  YOU didn’t get to experience the joy of having someone look up to and admire you unconditionally.  And YOU will never know how much you have really and truly cut me to the core!

But the good news is…I will be fine.  I will move on, and I will be strong, and I will not let you take the joy out of my life.  I will do what it takes to make myself healthy and whole.

Maybe one day we WILL be able to mend what you have broken, and that would be beautiful.  But if not, I needed to make myself feel better by letting you know how you missing out on my life has affected me.  I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but I think too many fathers go through life causing damage and leaving the rubble behind for others to clean up.  Let this letter serve as a symbol of me dropping off the pieces at your door so that you can deal with it now.  I’ve carried this for far too long and it’s MY time to be free!

I wish you the best, and at the very least, I thank you for my life.  With it, I plan to do marvelous things.   Watch me Dad…even if you’re watching from the sidelines.

Sincerely,

Your child

Don’t know about you, but that made me feel better!  For those of you dealing with this issue, know that there are people who are pissed for you, understand your pain, and are rooting for you!

And for the fathers who recognize themselves in this letter, remember it’s never too late.  Just don’t expect your child to immediately jump into your arms and say everything’s ok.  It’s still not…but start with an “I’m sorry” and see where it goes from there!

I know this didn’t speak to everyone who has had this experience (or non-experience) with their father, but it came from a place inside me that has witnessed the effects of fatherlessness.  I hope that this helped someone, and I would love to hear your comments.  Please leave one below!

As always…Just my humble opinion,

Pebbles