Christmas has come and gone, and while most people are planning on taking down their trees in a few days, I plan on keeping mine up until at least the second week in January. Part of it is that I’m just lazy, and taking down a tree is not as fun as putting one up. But the bigger part is that one of the cheap joys in life is sitting in front of a lit tree and soaking in the memories that this time of year brings.

For me, those memories have become bittersweet after my sister died last year. The greatest memories that I think most of us have of this time of year are directly related to our childhood, and those memories always include our siblings. I miss my sister more than words can say, and it’s especially hard at Christmas when the only thing I want for Santa to bring my niece is her mother. Since I know that even Santa and his miraculous powers can’t bring my sister back, it’s become extremely important for me to make memories for not only my niece, but for all the children in my family. I don’t have children myself, so being able to do special things for the kids in my family brings me a joy that is unspeakable. That said, I thought I would share a few things to help you make memories of your own with the children in your life.

Sleepovers – What is more fun than that? I currently have five teenagers in my house who have been here for a couple days. They will be replaced later today by three 8-year-olds who will stay over. I still remember sleepovers from my childhood, and I often hear the kids talk about the fun times they have when they stayed over at Auntie’s house!

Arts & Crafts – A week before Christmas I had the kids in my family over to make gingerbread houses and ornaments. It’s become an annual tradition and the great thing is that those ornaments will be around when those kids have gone off to college. The ornament below is one that I made when I was about 9 or 10 in Girl Scouts and it’s the most treasured thing on my tree.

Snow – If you are lucky enough to have snow outside your window, what cheaper, more fun thing is there to do than play in the show. Kid always remember making snowmen, snow angels, and having snowball fights! Plus, knowing that there’s hot chocolate waiting inside once your face has pretty much frozen solid is a bonus. So stop worrying about getting snow in the house and get out there and have some fun!

Video Games – I love that there are so many family-friendly games out there now. As I write this, the kids are in the other room playing Just Dance 2. Get in the action and you’ll burn some calories as well. After dancing to “It’s Raining Men” I had to sit down and catch my breath!

Read – I know this isn’t always the most popular option for kids or busy adults, but I know that I still remember my parents reading to me as a child. Believe me, the books you read to your children today will become the ones they remember fondly as adults.

As you can see, there is nothing ground-breaking here. It’s all simple stuff that I think we just need a little reminder to do. I believe there is nothing more important as adults that we can do for children than to make memories for them.

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

What do you do to make memories with your children, or the children in your life? What are the special memories that you have from your childhood? I would love for you to leave a comment to let me know and share with everyone else!

I just came across this book on Twitter and had to share it with you!  I follow the Do Something organization on Twitter and they mentioned that they have a book coming out called Do Something! A Handbook for Young Activists.  As the title suggests, it’s all about getting kids to become involved in making changes in their communities and in the world.

I immediately put in my order because I feel that this is such an important piece of the puzzle in turning great kids into incredible adults.  I believe that if  kids are involved in things that don’t revolve around them, they get a new perspective on life.

Admit it, we all see how selfish we can be.  All we care about at times is how things affect us.  Do we really want our children to grown up thinking that they only need to care about themselves?  I say no, and that’s why I’m supporting this book and what it stands for.  Must be the  former Girl Scout  in me!

If you have children, or are an aunt, uncle, teacher, or anyone else who works with kids, consider getting this for them.  OR, you could get it and work on a project together.  I know that I will be reading it to my nieces and nephews, cousins and even sharing it with my niece’s teacher who I volunteer with.

Congrats again Do Something!  I hope it becomes a best seller and more importantly, your work turns a new generation into a special group of activists who will change our world!  CLICK HERE to order the book and get more information!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

I would love to hear what you think about this book!  Do you think we’ve all become too selfish?  What are you doing to make a difference in someone else’s life?  Leave me a comment!

Looks like we have A Cleavage Controversy as Katy Perry’s boobs have been banned from Sesame Street.  In case you haven’t heard, Katy Perry was supposed to appear on the PBS show performing a kid-friendly version of her song Hot N Cold.  Well, that’s not going to happen after outraged parents complained about Katy’s choice of attire saying that her dress revealed too much cleavage.   Some parents even said their children were allegedly sexually aroused.   Hmmm, that is a moment that makes me happy I don’t have any kids.

Well, message boards all over the internet are jammed with differing opinions about The Great Cleavage Controversy, so I thought I would add my two cents.  First, let me say that I think the video is really cute, and Katy definitely has a personality that I think appeals to kids.  She comes off really sweet and fun, and teamed with Elmo, it’s a great combination.   While I do think that this would have affected parents more than the kids actually watching it,  I really do wish she would have covered up a little more.  I don’t consider myself a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to say that for a family show, I think she could have chosen something a little less revealing.  I wish I had reasons a, b, and c to give you as to why, but I have to say that it’s just a gut feeling that I have about the situation.

The closest thing I can equate it to is going to a kids birthday party and there’s one parent who shows up with something a little too revealing.  No kid is going to be traumatized, and they’re going to care more about the cake and the clown, but for the occasion, it’s just not appropriate.

I’m not sure how Katy is feeling about the whole issue, but I’m hoping that she gets to re-shoot the video and that it will run on the show because it is really cute.

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

What do you think about The Great Cleavage Controversy?  Do you think the whole thing is overblown, or that Katy should have covered up?  If you have kids, does it bother you?  Let me know by leaving a comment!  Thanks!

* Remember, your email address is never posted, just your name and comment.

Camping with my niece

When are you most YOU?  In other words, when do you feel most like yourself?  I know it’s an odd question, but this weekend I feel like I got the answer to the question for the first time in my life.  My answer…when I’m camping.

Over the weekend I was on my annual family “Camp Semedo” camping trip that I started in 2003 with 1 cousin, 5 kids, 2 tents, a camping stove, and the great outdoors.  Seven years later, it’s now a huge family event that has made me the proud owner of 15 tents, 18 sleeping bags, 7 lanterns and 16 air mattresses. Oh, and there are now over 80 people who attend the 4-days and 3-nights of family fun!

On the third day of camping, I pulled my boyfriend aside and we went and sat in the field for a quiet moment and talked.  It was there, with no makeup on, in need of a shower, wearing the clothes I would never put on to go out in public in, that I realized I felt more like “me” than I ever have.  It wasn’t something I had thought about before, but in that moment, I just blurted it out, and something in me made sense.  I always knew I loved camping, but I never connected it with the way that it made me feel about myself.

Being outdoors, sleeping in a tent, having no concerns about what anyone thinks about my physical appearance, and feeling no judgement about who I am or what I’m doing.  For me, camping is a freeing experience.  Sure there are bugs, and you’re not going to eat a gourmet meal every night, but when you strip away all the things that you put on daily (both physically and mentally), you have the unique opportunity to get to the core of who you are.

I’m sure that some of you have made this revelation about yourselves a long time ago, and it may not be camping that did it for you, but for me it was a great moment.

So, can you answer the question…When are you most YOU?  Have you had that moment in your life when you feel like “wow, this is who I am!”  Was it one thing, or one place, or one experience that got you there?  Are you even there yet?  I would love to hear about it.  Make sure you leave me a comment!

As always…Just my humble opinion,

Pebbles

I am one of the lucky ones.  I have an amazing father who has been supportive my whole life, and more importantly, has been there for me.  As a child and even now, I feel that my father would do anything to make sure I’m happy.  But I have found over the years, there are many, many people who aren’t as lucky.

I bring this up because I have a friend who doesn’t have a relationship with her father.  He recently actually had the audacity to use her name to drum up business for himself with a potential client!  Seriously! And I know another person who recently got a call from his father out of the blue because he was feeling sorry for himself, and wanted someone to listen to him.  Boo-freaking-hoo!  I was SO upset.  I think I was more pissed than either one of them were.  Was it because they’re used to this treatment?  Is it just their way of protecting themselves by chalking it up to “dad being dad?”  It may not be my business to address their fathers, or any other deadbeat dads for that matter, but for some reason I feel like I need to say something.  For them, and for all the other boys & girls and men & women, who have been forced to grow up with a man who has purposely chosen not to be a part of their lives.   So for all of you needing a voice, use mine!

Dear Dad…

Although I haven’t heard from you in a while, actually ages, I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay.  From your years of silence, I’m guessing that doesn’t really matter to you, but I thought it was time for me to reach out to you.

You see, I’m okay.  I’m living a decent life.  I’m a good person.  I have other family members who love me, and I have great friends.  I’m doing well for myself, and I’m proud to say that I am happy about the way I’ve turned out…in spite of your absence.  Again, I’m ok…most of the time.

But then there are the other times when I can’t help but wonder where you are.  I can’t help but try to make sense of a man who wouldn’t even want to be a part of their child’s life.  And there are days when I just want to stay in bed and cry because it hurts so much knowing that you are out there…close by…and still don’t want to see me.

There are a lot of emotions inside of me that I keep bottled up because I’m afraid of what would happen if I took the lid off and let them out.  Would it cause me to explode?  Would it just hurt me even more?  Would you even care?

Life is short, and I’m sure that at some point in yours you will look back and realize that you are the one who missed out.  YOU didn’t get a chance to see what an incredible person I am.  YOU didn’t get to experience the joy of having someone look up to and admire you unconditionally.  And YOU will never know how much you have really and truly cut me to the core!

But the good news is…I will be fine.  I will move on, and I will be strong, and I will not let you take the joy out of my life.  I will do what it takes to make myself healthy and whole.

Maybe one day we WILL be able to mend what you have broken, and that would be beautiful.  But if not, I needed to make myself feel better by letting you know how you missing out on my life has affected me.  I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but I think too many fathers go through life causing damage and leaving the rubble behind for others to clean up.  Let this letter serve as a symbol of me dropping off the pieces at your door so that you can deal with it now.  I’ve carried this for far too long and it’s MY time to be free!

I wish you the best, and at the very least, I thank you for my life.  With it, I plan to do marvelous things.   Watch me Dad…even if you’re watching from the sidelines.

Sincerely,

Your child

Don’t know about you, but that made me feel better!  For those of you dealing with this issue, know that there are people who are pissed for you, understand your pain, and are rooting for you!

And for the fathers who recognize themselves in this letter, remember it’s never too late.  Just don’t expect your child to immediately jump into your arms and say everything’s ok.  It’s still not…but start with an “I’m sorry” and see where it goes from there!

I know this didn’t speak to everyone who has had this experience (or non-experience) with their father, but it came from a place inside me that has witnessed the effects of fatherlessness.  I hope that this helped someone, and I would love to hear your comments.  Please leave one below!

As always…Just my humble opinion,

Pebbles