I am in a relationship, but believe me, I know what it’s like to be single on Valentine’s Day.  The key to that statement is that you are single…not alone!  Too many times, we as women think it’s one in the same.  It’s not.  We all have people in our lives who love us, and isn’t that what the day is really all about?  Love.

I know that some of you will say that it’s not the same, and spending the day with a hot guy ISN’T the same as hanging with your girls, but are you really going to let that spoil your day?  If you’re answer is yes, then I guess I really can’t help you, but if it’s no…I have some suggestions.

Get your single friends together. I’m sure that you’re all trying to figure out what you’re going to do, so YOU take the initiative and get it together.  Pick a restaurant, bar, bowling alley, museum, or whatever else will be fun for the group and tell them what time to meet you there.  It’s harder to say no when someone has already done the legwork.

Have a Pity Party! I’m sure everyone won’t condone this one, but a good cry or bitch session never killed anyone, and it does make you temporarily feel better.  So pick someone’s house to meet at, have everyone bring something to eat or drink and spend a few hours complaining about the guys you’ve had and the ones you don’t have.  The key to the night is making sure it ends on a high note.  Watch a funny movie together, play some board games, or whatever else will make you all laugh.  Just make sure no one drinks too much because we all know how that can end up.

Borrow a kid. Nothing in the world can change your mood like hanging out with kids.  Do you have nieces or nephews, little cousins, or have friends with children?  Borrow them for a while, and go do something fun with them.  Take them to the movies (Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief is out, and for younger kids, The Tooth Fairy), go bowling, play in the snow, do paint-your-own-pottery, go to a museum, play video or board games, or have a tea party.  Kids love attention, so anything you do will be appreciated.  I promise you…taking care of kids will take your mind off being single, and their parents will appreciate the time to go out to dinner.

Book a spa day. It doesn’t have to be all day, and you don’t have to go alone, unless you want to.  Get your nails and toes done, a massage, a new hairstyle, or anything else that makes you feel good.  It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself after someone works all the kinks out of your back!

Give someone flowers. One year when I wasn’t in a relationship, I sent one of my friends a beautiful bouquet to her office.  I’m sure her heart skipped a beat when she first saw them, thinking they were from a guy, but she was so grateful for the gesture.  Making someone else happy is a great way to make yourself feel good.

Make a gym date. Nothing passes the time on a treadmill faster than talking to someone while you’re on it.  The best thing is that exercising will give you endorphins to make you feel better.  Plus, it will burn off the calories in that chocolate you’re going to want later!

Put a ring on it! Want a ring?  Buy yourself one.  You have time to get THE ring that you want, but for now, find something you love and get it for yourself.  And it doesn’t have to be an expensive one.  A few years back I bought myself a diamond ring that I NEVER wear.  The one that I DO wear every single day is a silver peace sign that I got for under $10 dollars.  You would be surprised how much fun it is ring-shopping for yourself!

I’m sure you get the idea.  There are a ton of things you can do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.  Choose to make it a great day.  It is just another day after all.  Don’t let the commercialization of the day make you feel bad about where you are in your life right now.  Remember…you’re not always going to be single!

So what are your plans for Valentine’s Day?  Do you have any suggestions?  I would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment. Only your name and comment will be displayed.  Thanks for reading!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles!

Eight weeks after giving birth via c-section to 9-pound, 5-ounce Hank Baskett Jr., Kendra Wilkinson is back in a bikini.  She reportedly gained 55 pounds, and has lost 25 of them.

First let me say congratulations to Kendra on her adorable baby boy!  I’m sure she’s incredibly happy and her life will never be the same.  That said, I have to address the pictures in OK! magazine of Kendra in a bikini.  There’s lots of talk about whether these pictures are airbrushed, Photoshopped, or both, and if you know me, I couldn’t let it go without saying something.

I don’t have children, so I can’t say that I’ve carried a child and know how pregnancy affects my body.  I do have lots to say about how much these celebrity “bikini after baby” photos bother me.  Not because of the effect on me, but for how I’m sure they upset women who have had their own babies.

From what I’ve seen, pregnancy, labor, and weight loss are very personal things for each woman.  I have seen friends and family members who have had easy pregnancies, rough ones, easy-breezy labor, excruciating labor, instant weight loss, and some who still carry the pounds.  There are so many factors that contribute to each one of them, but I feel that seeing the pictures of celebrities causes women to feel like they have to live up to a ridiculous standard.  Even worse, guys look at these pictures and wonder why they can do it and their wives and girlfriends can’t.  I don’t think most guys would be stupid enough to say that to the woman who just gave birth to their child, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all that they think it.

Do I think these pictures have been altered?  I have no idea.  Something seems SO wrong to me about analyzing and criticizing another woman’s body in that way.  I wish I could say that I’ve never done it, but I have.  I think the problem I have with the pictures is the fact that we even have to see them in the first place.  I know we live is a materialistic/beauty-loving society and there’s a lot of judging books by their covers going on.  All these celebrity photos do is establish an unrealistic set of standards we will never be able to live up to.

I do think it’s possible for some people to lose all that weight quickly.  But I also think that the celebrity lifestyle makes it much easier to do so.  Most of them have trainers, nanny, cooks, and let’s not forget the money to get tummy-tucks and other forms of plastic surgery.  The average woman does not, but is still held to that standard.  Yes, we impose a lot of those standards on ourselves, and I really hope we can get over them.

Personally, I still have lots of body issues that started when I was a teenager.  I’ve had boyfriends comment on my weight during those years, and it took a LONG time to get over some of those things.  I’m sure I still hold some of that inside of me.  The funny thing is…I look back at pictures from the times that they (and I) thought I was fat, and would kill to look like that now.  It’s really very unfortunate, and I hate knowing that there are girls who are going to go through the same thing.

All this isn’t to say that body issues are Kendra Wilkinson’s fault, but I really wish they would be more honest with us about what they have to do to get back in that bikini so soon.  I was very impressed with Kourtney Kardashian when she recently spoke out about the Photoshopped photos that OK! printed of her.  She wanted people to know that she gained more weight than they claimed she did, and that she has NOT lost it all.  Good for her!

I would love to hear what YOU think!  Women…How did pregnancy affect you?  Do you feel these pictures represent an unreachable standard?  Do pictures in the media affect how you feel about yourself, and if not, how have you worked through that?  Men…Do you secretly compare your woman to the pictures of celebrities?  How did your wife or girlfriend’s pregnancy affect you?

Please leave a comment.  Only your name and comment will be displayed.  Thanks so much for reading!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles!

It’s February 11th and for Twilight/Team Jacob fans over the age of 18, it’s a happy day!  It’s Taylor Lautner’s 18th birthday, which means that we can now all officially say out loud how hot we think he is!  Yeah I know it makes us sound sketchy and a little creepy, but we don’t care.

Oh, and for guys who think people would be outraged if it were them drooling over a 17-year-old girl…you’re right.  Deal with it. We’ve dealt with double standards all our lives, and it’s nice to have one work out to our advantage!

Just my humble opinion..Pebbles!

Ahhh Valentine’s Day!  I wonder what he’s going to get me?  I wonder where he’ll take me?  Will I get chocolates, flowers, jewelry?  The last time I checked, relationships involved two people, but you would never know it the way some women focus only on what they’re hoping to get.  I know, it sounds horrible to throw my fellow sisters under the bus, but I think there are a lot of great guys out there who deserve the same attention on Valentine’s Day that we get.

I have a pretty successful gift-giving record, so here are my suggestions of what you can get for your man this year for Valentine’s Day.

Alcohol – Most of the guys I know like to drink.  Your job is to get them their favorite.  Is he a wine drinker?  Get him the best you can afford.  A good wine shop can point you in the direction of something good for under $20 dollars.  The same goes for beer, scotch, and vodka drinkers.  Do a little research.

DVD - You know what kind of movies your guy likes.  Pick him up one of his favorites, and if he has a Blu-ray player…you’ll get bonus points for getting that version.  Hint: if he has a PS3 game system, there’s a Blu-ray player built in!

If he doesn’t have it already, you can’t go wrong with The Hangover!  It’s an instant classic that you’ll both love.

Sports lovers with be fans of More than a Game.  It’s the true story of NBA star LeBron James and four of his high school teammates in Ohio.

Dinner and/or homemade treats – It’s true…the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  Think how nice it would be for you to take him to his favorite restaurant, or for you to make him dinner, cookies, brownies or something else he loves!  Google some recipes and get cooking!

Video Games – Make him really happy and get him the newest, hottest game.  You may want to check with one of his friends to help you out on this one.  And make sure you get one for the game system he has (XBox 360, PS3, Wii, etc.)  I’m not well-versed in video games, so I deferred to the bestsellers at GameStop.com.

Mag for PS3

Mass Effect 2 for XBox 360 and PC

Sports Tickets - If you have some extra bucks to throw around, go for tickets to his favorite team.  If you can’t afford the pros, go for the minors.  For $22 bucks, you can get box seats to see the Pawtucket Red Sox!

Lingerie – I never liked getting lingerie for a gift.  I always thought it was more of a gift for the guy.  So why not box up something sexy with the promise to model it for him later!

Sorry guys…girl not included!

Thanks for reading!  Hope you got some great ideas ladies, and guys, if you have anything you want to add to the list feel free to leave a comment.  Lots of ladies are listening!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

Black History Month started as Black History Week in 1926 by Dr. Carter G. Woodson.  His goal was to bring attention to the contributions of black people throughout American history.  There are some that say that Black History Month is no longer needed, especially after the election of Barack Obama as our 44th President.  Others feel that blacks are still largely ignored in American History books, and the need is still there.  Several years back actor Morgan Freeman called Black History Month “ridiculous,” and said “You’re going to relegate my history to a month?” “I don’t want a black history month. Black history is American history.”

No matter what you believe about the month, there are many different ways to celebrate if you choose to do so.  I’m giving you 28 ideas.  Do one, all, some, or come up with your own ideas.  The point is to get you thinking about  Black History and the contributions that were made by blacks. And remember, Black History isn’t just something for black people to observe, it’s meant to be recognized by all.  Enjoy!

1.   Have a conversation with an older person and get their thoughts on the civil rights movement of the 60′s from their personal perspective.

2.   Take a walk on Boston’s Black Heritage Trail either on the actual trail or CLICK HERE to “walk” the trail online.

3.   Download free podcasts on iTunes.  For example: African-American’s in Science, and Voices from the Days of Slavery.

4.   Look up quotes by famous African-American’s for inspiration

5.   Visit local museums featuring black exhibits and works from black artists.  The Children’s Museum in Boston has a Black in Boston exhibit.

6.  Find children’s books celebrating black history and read them to your child, nieces & nephews, or any other young person.

7.   Discover and read poetry from black poets.

8.   With the Winter Olympics taking place this month, do some research on former black Olympians.

9.   Find out what things you use every day that were invented by black people.

10.  Watch or read a play by a black playwright.

11.  Discover some legendary black musicians, then download & listen to some of their music.

12.  Spend some time thinking about some of the rights we take for granted that black people didn’t always have like: voting, reading, being educated, getting married and more.

13.  Check your local TV listings (A & E, The History Channel, HBO, etc) for specials on black history.

14.  Read the Newsweek article, The End of Black History Month?  Get it HERE.

15.  Support a black artist by buying a piece of their artwork.

16.  Donate your time or money to a black organization.

17.  Check out History.com for a wealth of information about Black History Month and to view videos about The Harlem Renaissance, The March on Washington, and more.

18.  Patronize a black-owned business.

19.  Watch a movie related to black history: Amistad, A Soldier’s Story, Roots, A Raisin in the Sun, etc.

20.  Make an Adire cloth.  In Africa, the cloth is used for both decoration and communication.  CLICK HERE for more information and to find out how to make one.

21.  Learn to play Mancala, an ancient African board game.

22.  Take an African dance class.

23.  Plan a dinner for friend and prepare traditional African dishes you find recipes for online or in cook books.

24.  Check your local libraries for special activities they may have planned for the month.

25.  It doesn’t hit Boston until April, but get your tickets early for the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the Citi Wang Theater.

26. Discover Black filmakers and watch one of their movies.

27.  Watch or read the story of Ben Carson, Gifted Hands.

28.  Vow to make Black History a part of your history year-round!

Thank you for reading!  If you have any other suggestions, feel free to leave a comment!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles