Mar
Open Marriage… Really?
By Monday, Mo’Nique will most likely be an Oscar winner for her role in Precious. That’s my prediction. She’ll get up and give a beautiful speech, make us all cry, and thank God and her husband Sidney. Ahhh Sidney…after you hear this, a lot of guys will be saying, “That is one lucky dude!” Not because he’s married to an Oscar winner, but because of her view on marriage.
During Barbara Walters Oscar Special, Mo’Nique revealed (even though I’ve heard this before) that she and her husband basically have an open marriage. She says, “Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker,” she says. “That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.’” She goes on to say that it wouldn’t even matter if it were numerous times. “What if it’s 20 times?” she asks. “So what? We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”
I will just come out and say that I could not do it. No way…no how! It may work for her, and I’m not a jealous person, but I could not deal with my man having sex with another woman or women. It made me wonder…why get married at all? Maybe I’m romanticizing marriage a little too much, but I thought it was supposed to be about sharing your life (and bed) with only one person for the rest of your life. Does it still mean the same thing or are people now defining it for themselves?
Maybe it’s the latter and people want to make their own rules. And who are we to say there’s something wrong with that? I also wonder if there are more people out there doing this, and Mo’Nique is the only one brave enough to talk about it?
What about you? Could you be in an open marriage? Are you totally against it? What do you think about the fact that while Mo’Nique would let Sidney sleep with someone else, she’s not going to do it? I would love to hear your thoughts…leave me a comment!
Just my humble opinion…Pebbles
So as I get older I am not against it. A few years ago I would say NO way. I have been w/my fiance for almost 10 yrs. The beginning of our relationship was rough, but great now. The thing is I hate sex. I believe it has to do w/all the weight I gained yrs ago w/our son. It just does not interest me. We used to have sex 2x per day. And now its like once a month…I tell him its OK to find someone to satisfy him as long as he comes home every night and brings home the money to pay bills. Does this say we should just move on in our relationship? Maybe..but I really do love him. I still think hes attractive. But I just do not like sex.
Wow Pebbles…you took the words out of my mouth! I am actually putting together a post for my blog on this exact topic! Monique is definitely putting the spotlight on the topic of open marriages!! I love your views.
And, by the way, Oh. No. Neva. Eva. Eva….a marriage is a commitment between two people. You take vows in front of your family and friends to honor the one you marry, and I don’t believe honor includes having sex with others outside of your marriage!
Wow! I couldn’t do it either Pebbles, I wouldn’t want to share my man with other women.I’m sorry that’s just too much for me..I value my relationship and I’m not tryin to share my man. That’s just unexceptable to me .
I think woman are letting these no good men tell them that’s all they should expect and to just get with the program. Now I know that its not the case in all open marriages but from what I hear its the men going out with other woman and the “wife” can join in a three some. Now if a man and woman decide as partners that they both want to have different partners then that is their busniess . But there lies the question ” why get married”. I can tell you (Im engaged) my man already knows I DON’T SHARE. And neither does he. He also is the 1% male that would leave me if I slept with a woman. He is not turned on by that (he’s a little homophbic). We talk very openly about what we want and dont want. Woman need to stop setteling for scum just cause HE says you aint gonna find a man that dont cheat or what ever lame reason they give. There are soooo many ways to keep it spicey in your bed room. And part of it is holding back. Save the real freak shit for when you’re his wife! Take you bedroom back ladies.. it aint just about what they want. Stop letting men confuse you and have you talking like an idiot. Cause us real woman see right through it.. Pebbles Im def with you.. Not for me!!
Open marriages truly are a taboo, and are not for everyone. This is one of those debates that if you are an open minded person, you can open yourself up to see both sides of the spectrum. My husband and I began an open relationship one year after we got married…not because we both wanted to be with other people, but because he knew I was bisexual and he wanted me to still have fun with my bisexuality, (not that he’s gonna complain about that! haha) and most of the women that I am with are also married and in the same agreement with their husbands/boyfriends.
It’s not something that just makes us less secure about eachother, in fact he has had sexual relationships with other women as well and it doesnt make me feel any less secure about him.
Do I expect everyone to understand it and respect it? no, of course not, and I don’t expect other people to be doing it as well though it made our marriage a hell of alot stronger and made our sexy life even better!
the misconception to most people is that we are fooling around all the time, random sex with strangers, bla bla bla, when it’s really only once in a great while when we have made an agreement on what is going to happen, and the sex is not promiscuous, it’s actually someone that we have been getting to know and are completely comfortable with.
It’s not a lifestyle for everyone, and I have seen some marriages fall apart due to it, but thats why my husband and I are completely open and honest with eachother no matter what…I love him to death and I know he loves me the same which is why our marriage works and we would never leave eachother…and if something works, even though its taboo, why the hell not! 30 years from now when we pass our 50′s we can just look back at it and laugh, because you know we won’t be getting ass like we use to by that point! HAHA!
Men would love it, if they thought that women would start going for this. The reason It works for
Mo nique is she might not say it, but she must be fooling around too. Or wants a “I can sleep with some one else card” when the chance comes up for her now that she is more famous. She might be able to pull down better d*&^. lol lol .Good luck to her. Are we as women getting so hard up for a man, that we would go for this. Please.say that it is not so. I use to love Mo nique but his changes every thing for me. I feel to have a man on her arm now, she is putting up with anything, which is so sad because she played so strong and independent. Plus too don’t men know that when your woman knows or thinks your sleeping around, you can kiss the BJ goodbye. Its like your lollipop fell on the ground as an child and your mother said “don’t put that in you mouth its dirty lol.
I couldn’t do it. I admit I am to jealous a person to let my husband go around sleeping with other women. I feel like marriage is a commitment to each other not a commitment between me my husband and who ever else he is sleeping with at the time. Maybe I am just old fashion but I don’t care you get married to spend your life with someone you love and I think if you really love that person and they really love you they wouldn’t want to be sleeping around with other people. I don’t know though thats just my opinon
What the point in being married then? Marriage is taking a vow to love and only love the person next to you. To have an open marriage is insane to me. Open marriage is up there with polygamy to me.