This morning on the radio (The Ramiro & Pebbles Show on Jamn 94.5), I had the “opportunity” to interview one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses.  Joslyn James is her name, and she’s the one who released the 100 or so text messages that Tiger sent her including gems like, “I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you,” and “You are my f**king whore. Hold you down while I choke you.” During the conversation, she repeatedly said that coming out was not about the money and that all she wanted was an apology from Tiger, and to get the truth out there.  REALLY???  I had to challenge her because apparently, she’s coming out with some other tasty morsel of scandaliciousness (new word!) that she plans to drop just before Tiger’s comeback at The Masters.  Mind you, I have NO sympathy for Tiger at all, but for her to say that this has nothing to do with money and/or fame whoring is ridiculous!  I wanted to straight out call her a liar, but honestly, I didn’t feel it was worth the energy.  The fact that she feels she deserves an apology from Tiger is laughable.  Again, I don’t sympathize with him at all, but come on, what is he apologizing for?  You KNEW he was married and still carried on a relationship with him!  No one is feeling sorry for either one of you.

That brings me to my next point.  Jesse James Mistress #3, Brigitte Daguerre, has some words of her own about her role in the break-up of Jesse’s marriage to Sandra Bullock.  In a statement on her website, Brigitte said the following…“For the record, I have ruined no ones marriage. The married person is always responsible for his/her actions & single people are not responsible for other people’s relationships/marriages.” While she says that she and Jesse only had sex 4 times and didn’t have an actual relationship, let’s talk about that statement she made.

My personal opinion is that if someone is married, cheats on his/her partner and they break up, they are responsible.  I also believe that if you are having an affair with a married person and you know they are married, you are also to blame.  You may not be the one who is committing infidelity, but you are wrong as well.  I was asked by my co-host Ramiro, if I had to say who was more at fault who would I blame, and believe it or not, I agree with Brigitte.  It is the married person’s responsibility to remain faithful.   But to say that the other person should accept no blame for the break-up is insane.

That is why Joslyn James needs to take her 100 Tiger Texts and whatever else she has, stop lying, and definitely stop waiting for an apology!  She doesn’t deserve one!  After reading Brigitte’s statement, if she is telling the truth, I feel a little bad for her.  She had some sex with Jesse, says she didn’t know he was married, and that one tabloid tried to pay a homeless guy in her neighborhood $500 bucks to say they saw Jesse there.  She also says that she’s not planning on doing any radio or TV tours to make some money off of this.  Joselyn, on the other hand, deserves everything she gets…except an apology from Tiger!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

I would love to hear what you have to say.  Do you think that the married person is more to blame?  Do mistresses deserve an apology?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

An interesting (and disturbing) question was posed to me this morning, inspired by the Tiger Woods/Jesse James scandals.  My radio partner Ramiro, asked me if I would rather my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years cheat on me with numerous one-time sex partners, or one woman he carried on a 3-year relationship with?  After catching my breath at just the thought of either one of those scenarios, I really thought about which situation I would most be able to deal with, and decided that the one that would be slightly easier for me to recover from would be the multiple one-night stands.  Why?  It’s all about the math.

Before I explain, let me make it clear that I’m not sure I would be able to deal with either one of them in the long-term, but  the game was that I had to pick one.  That said, I made my decision based on which one I considered the biggest betrayal.  For me, having my man carry on a relationship for pretty much 85% (if I did the math right) of the time we’ve been together, would be more devastating to me.  I know, the risk of disease is probably  higher with multiple partners, but I have to believe that the number of lies I was told would be MUCH higher in the 3-year relationship than with the one-night stands.   It’s all about the math.

Think about it, the sheer number of betrayals in that three year period would be enough to make anyone crazy.  If you’re like me, anytime you’ve been cheated on,  it makes you re-think every moment in your relationship.  Personally, I have a hard time getting those pictures out of  my head.

I also think that there’s a gender difference in answering the cheating question.  For women, I believe the emotional attachment of their man to another woman is completely unbearable.  For men, I think the thought of multiple penises inside of their woman would  put them over the edge.  Hell, men can’t deal with their woman having been with more than a couple men BEFORE them, never mind WHILE they’re with them!

I think the Tiger & Jesse scandals are making a lot of people crazy.  Me?  I’m choosing not to carry that scandal into my relationship.  Tiger made me think that if HE could do it, anyone could, but I can’t dwell on that.  Seriously, would it really do any good to always be on alert and questioning everything my man does?  I say no.

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

What do YOU think?  Would you rather have your partner cheat with one person over the majority of your relationship, or have multiple one-night stands?  I would love to hear what you think, so please leave a comment! Remember…only your name, and no other information will be displayed.

I came across an article this morning about how “mean girl” behavior isn’t just in high school…it starts a lot earlier.  As I was reading it, so many emotions came to the surface: anger, frustration,  disgust, disappointment, and most of all sadness.  I can’t tell you how many times I hear women and girls say, “I don’t get along with other girls.  I like guys better.”  Really?  What does that say to the women who think they are your friends, and if you think you can get through life without girlfriends, think again!

I truly believe that the genuine friendships and bonds you build with other women, are some of the most valuable relationships you will ever develop in your lifetime.   While I do believe that women can have great friendships with men, I don’t think they replace the friendships of other women.  Female friends offer a bond of understanding that I believe you can only get from other females.  It’s a fact that there are things that men (even gay male friends) will never understand about women, no matter how much they try.  I don’t want to negate the value of male friends because I have quite a few of them myself, but when I need someone to relate to my irrational self-hatred because I can no longer fit into my jeans, only a woman is going to understand that pain!  My guy friends who would say, “Well do something about it…get on the treadmill” are only going to piss me off and send me head-first into a pint of Caramel Cone Haagen-Dazs .  You call it enabling…I call it true friendship.

Men and women are just different.   That’s no surprise, and until women realize that they need other women in their lives, they’re going to be miserable.  Why?  Because there are certain things men will never “get” about women.  I don’t expect them to, and I don’t hold it against them.  Here are just a few examples of things men will never understand about women:

*  Fat clothes

*  Bad hair days

*  There’s no such thing as too many shoes

*  Crying for no apparent reason

*  Needing to talk about the relationship

*  Chick Flicks

*  Why it takes all day to shop for one thing

These are just a few things we need other women for.  In addition, to the silly things listed, it’s our girlfriends that get us through the really tough times in life.  One of my favorite lines from the final episode of the Sex in the City series is when Big says to Carrie’s friends, “You three know her better than anyone. You’re the loves of her life and a guy’s just lucky to come in fourth. ”  Big knew and recognized what I really wish more women would, we need each other.

I’m sure some guys reading this will think that this is a diss on them, and it’s not meant to be.  I just want women to start appreciating what we have in each other.  If you have issues with ALL women, maybe it’s time you look in the mirror and find out why?  And don’t tell me that other women are just jealous of you, because that right there may be your problem.  You could be sending out the vibe that everyone’s jealous of you and not even realize it.

Little girls are watching us.  The article I  talked about at the beginning said that girls as young as four and five are exhibiting “mean girl” behavior, and it’s up to us to show them that girls CAN get along! Little girls need to see healthy, loving friendships between women, and not just on TV, but in their daily lives.  So if you have little sisters, cousins, or daughters of your own, know that they’re watching you.  And speaking of TV…you might want to watch Gossip Girl (which I love, by the way), The Bad Girls Club, or even The Real Housewives, out of the sight of girls.  We may think it’s no big deal, but my guess is that it’s a huge deal.

All I’m asking is that you think about it ladies.  As I told my goddaughter once when she was going through “girl issues,”  you don’t have to have a huge group of girlfriends.  Having one or two TRUE girlfriends are worth their weight in gold.

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

What about you?  How are your female friendships?  Are they important to you, or do you say that you get along better with guys?  I would love to hear from you!  Please leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

Actress…excuse me…Oscar Nominated Actress Gabourey Sidibe has been the brunt of numerous jokes and downright mean comments over the past couple days.  Since my new motto is, don’t get mad…blog, I need to address this.  The first “joke” I heard was comparing Gabourey aka Precious with the football player from The Blind Side.  I’m sure some of you are laughing as you’re reading this, but it just makes me so sad.  Even worse is Howard Stern and Robin talking about her on their radio show.  I only put it here with the hope that you will find it as awful as I do, and start to not find these vicious comments funny.

What I love about Gabby is that she loves herself.  I’m a big girl myself, and I have to say that I wish I had the confidence that she does.  I struggle with it every single day, and I hope to one day feel as comfortable in my skin as she does.  The other thing I love about her is that she is funny without making fun of herself.  Believe me, when you’re big, it’s so easy to make fun of yourself and become the brunt of all your jokes.  It’s definitely a case of making fun of yourself before someone else can.  Watching Gabby on the red carpet at the Oscars was amazing.  She was having fun, was confidently posing along with all the size zero and 2′s, and come on, she fist-bumped Keanu Reeves!  And people were excited to meet HER! I was really happy for her!

The other comment I’ve been hearing, is that people are lying to her and that she’s not going to have a successful career because of her size.  Do I think that it’s going to be easy for her?  Absolutely not.  BUT, are people forgetting the two seriously powerful people who are supporting her…Oprah and Tyler Perry.  That girl will have roles MADE for her.  She’s not going to have to worry about fitting into “Skinny Hollywood.”  I believe that she’s going to be able to write her own ticket and have a bright future. NOTE:  She just finished filmimg”Yelling to the Sky,” and has just signed a deal to appear as a recurring character on the new Showtime series “The C Word.”

The only thing that I will say about her weight is that for health reasons, it will be to her benefit to lose weight.  We all know the statistics and risks, especially for African-Americans, so I do hope that she (and me too!) lose weight so that we can live a long, happy and healthy life!

Remember, Hollywood has to listen to us.  We are the ones going to the movies, we are the ones spending money, and we are the ones who should take a stand and support good actors…and not just the skinny ones!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

Please leave a comment.  I would love to hear what you have to say!

Actor Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace) revealed in a recent interview with The Advocate magazine that he is in fact gay.  I’m sure a lot of you are sitting there thinking “DUH!”  Hey, I suspected, but I never want to make assumptions.  Plus it made me think…why do we care so much about who’s gay?

In the interview, Hayes says, “I am who I am.  I was never in, as they say.  Never.” He goes on to say that he never revealed his sexual orientation publicly because frankly, it’s no ones business.  He says, “I believe that nobody owes anything to anybody…You are your authentic self to whom and when you choose to be, and if you don’t know somebody, then why would you explain to them how you live your life?” That is such a true statement.  I understand that actors are public figures and by choosing the careers they do, open themselves up to more scrutiny than the average person.  But really, why should they have to explain who they love and have sex with?  How does it make our lives any more complete by knowing that information?

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton reported the story and said that it’s about time he spoke the truth and it’s been a long time coming.  I know he’s really popular, but it really bothers me that Perez feels the need to “out” people all the time.  Just because HE is openly gay, doesn’t mean that he has the right to tell other people when they should come out!  Look…we’re all curious, and we have our suspicions about certain celebrities, but the way that Perez tries to bully people into coming out is ridiculous.

I am not gay, but I can’t even imagine making the decision to reveal who you are to another person.  And yes, we have come a long way, but there are still a lot of people who don’t condone “the lifestyle.”  I’m guessing that it’s hard enough to come out when you have a supportive family and friends, never mind if you don’t!  That is a process that people should be allowed to go through in their own time, not when someone else feels they should.

So let me ask you…are you curious about which celebrities are gay?  Do you feel that they should just come out?  Why do you care so much?  I would love to hear from you!

Please leave a comment and PLEASE be respectful.  Any disrespectful comments will not be approved.  I hate to have to say that, but I will not tolerate any slurs on my blog.  Thanks!

Just my humble opinion…Pebbles

CLICK HERE to read the entire article with Sean Hayes in The Advocate.